No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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