So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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