Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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