No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize