oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
there is glitter all over my balls
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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