Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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