she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
