i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
