He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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