I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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