8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My vagina is very pro this idea
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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