what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
