Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
