So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
