Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
