the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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