PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
