yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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