Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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