Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
