My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
