My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
