Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
