everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize