no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
