just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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