Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize