I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
