guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
