found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just blew my weed a kiss
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
