the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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