Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
