the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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