So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
