you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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