drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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