am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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