is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
