Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
