I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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