It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
