totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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