If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's not a walk of shame if you run
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
