She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
