is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Your tits are I can't wait for
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
