i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
