I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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