sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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