Betty ford says i'm here all night
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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