if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
