I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Enjoy the penises
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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