Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
