Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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