So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
