My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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