I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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