i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize