Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
