? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
