I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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