When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
