I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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