i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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